Field Notes Journal Entry
Departure from "Fawlty Towers"
A reluctant breakfast and a final, memorable departure from a disappointing camp, before setting out towards the Western Corridor of the Serengeti
I was a bit apprehensive about breakfast the following morning. The Imodium had done its magic but I really did not want to shit my way across the Serengeti, leaving a brown scar across the landscape!
However, Philip had said that we should have breakfast as it was to be a late lunch, so it was with some trepidation that I ordered a plain omelette. When it came, I stuck to it and the toast, opting to forgo the cold baked beans and the questionable Frankfurter sausage that had been cut in half to spread it round the plate so as to make it appear more than it actually was.
Reflections
Before shaking the dust of the benighted place of our shoes we had to pay our bill and, predictably, they had to scramble round amongst the disorganised stack of invoice books behind the bar.
While they did that I was stood by the staff tip box and while there was no way I was going to give them any money, I did think of a few choice tips for them:
- Stop sourcing meat from bush kill scraped off the plains in the wee small hours after the predators have caught it for you
- If the portion’s small, it doesn’t matter how many bits you cut it into to spread it round the plate in an attempt to make it look big … it won’t!
- Learn how to make fire, then use it to heat up the baked beans for breakfast - our early ancestors managed it 1.7 million years ago so you can too!
- Drop the fake Maasai act and the spear and use security guards like everyone else - the only way he was going to protect us from predators was if they died laughing
Having paid our bill, the final insult was having to collect our own baggage from our room as we left. At the mere suggestion that they might collect it for us, the man behind reception looked at us like we were something that had just dropped out of the Sphinx’s nose! So, we just told him we’d collect them ourselves and off we trotted, humming the “Fawlty Towers” theme tune along the way.
On the way back to the farmyard, we encountered the one staff member who understood that the key word in the phrase “hospitality industry” is the first one and that qualifying to work in it involves actually being hospitable. Hurrying over to us, exclaiming “Mamma Mia!”, he promptly took charge of our bags. I felt sorry for him - he needed to move on to an establishment that would appreciate him.
On the Road Again
It was with a sense of profound relief that we hopped into the Land Cruiser and headed out for our next camp, in the Western Corridor of the Serengeti, where Philip told us we should expect to see ungulates rather than the big cats.
Field Notes
- Serengeti Western Corridor - western extension of the Serengeti ecosystem; characterised by river systems and large concentrations of grazing ungulates
- Safari Logistics - long travel days between camps often require early departures and delayed meals; reliance on camp standards varies
- Camp Variability - quality of accommodation and hospitality can vary significantly between locations, influencing overall experience of travel
- Guide Insight - expectation set for Western Corridor wildlife focus shifting towards large herds (ungulates) rather than predators